ABOUT LOVE AT FIRST FIGHT
We provide a proven, research based alternative to counseling,
so you can improve your relationship or marriage quickly.
Hi, I’m Bruce - the founder of Love At First Fight.
At Love At First Fight we help struggling couples move past their differences, resolve conflict and get back on the same page together.
If you’re wondering how our programs can help your relationship, here are the 9 guiding principles that make our programs so effective.
1. EVERYTHING WE TEACH IS BASED ON PROVEN SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.
When it comes to love (and what makes it work or not work), everyone seems to have a different opinion. I know this from speaking with thousands of people about the intimate details of their relationships.
I have an opinion too, but I promise not to share it with you.
Why? Because you don’t need another opinion, you need results… and fast!
These days, there's an overwhelming amount of relationship advice for struggling couples out there - from blog posts and YouTube videos to magazine columns, books, talk shows, counselors, workshops, and of course, the opinion of your friends and family.
Unfortunately much of this advice lacks depth, comprehensiveness, and a research-based, systematic approach.
Said another way, most relationship advice just doesn't work.
So, instead of opinions, I promise to give you solutions to your relationship problems that are grounded in real scientific research and have been proven to produce results for thousands of my students.
2. WE HAVE A METHODOLOGY AND CORE CURRICULUM.
Over the years, I’ve developed an effective methodology for helping couples get past their relationship problems.
In its simplest form, the Love At First Fight methodology contains three steps:
- Connect First –Before you talk about your "issues", make sure you both feel securely connected to each other.
- Communicate Later – Only once you’re connected, you can then learn to communicate in a way that keeps you both feeling safe.
- Collaborate Together – Only then, will you be able to collaborate kindly, resolve your differences and get on the same page.
Mix up the order of these three steps and you’ll understand why our divorce rate is 50% and why conventional couples therapy has such a high failure rate.
Over the years, this methodology has grown into the Love At First Fight Core Curriculum which consists of essential insights, understandings, tools and skills that have been proven (over years of testing) to solve almost every kind of relationship problem.
3. I BELIEVE THAT CONFLICT IS A NORMAL PART OF LOVE.
Research tells us that every romantic relationship goes through a difficult time known as the Power Struggle stage. It’s completely normal. During this time we argue about issues of independence, belonging, and getting our emotional needs met etc.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of couples never make it past the Power Struggle stage and either stay stuck suffering, or break up.
Part of the reason we all struggle is because society tells us that conflict is a sign of incompatibility (and that if you’re with the right person, you won’t fight).
However, statistics have shown us that the #1 predictor of divorce is not conflict – it’s the avoidance of conflict! Who knew?
When you embrace conflict as a normal part of love’s journey, and learn how to use conflict to fight your misunderstandings instead of fighting each other, you become an invincible team together.
This is how you heal each other and your relationship.
4. ANYTHING THAT ISN’T LOVE IS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.
Given the nature of the work I do, I’ve sat through more conflict than most people will see in 100 lifetimes.
If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that anything that seems not to be love, almost always turns out to be a misunderstanding in the end.
By extension, the things that our partner does that we think of as “bad behavior” are usually just misguided and desperate attempts to get their needs met.
So, there is not “bad guy” or “bad girl” in your relationship – only two people without effective ways to get their needs met.
You’ll discover this for yourself as you begin to repair old hurt and get back on the same page with your partner.
5. DEPENDENCE IS NOT A DIRTY WORD, IT’S A FACT.
We are all dependent on each other. That’s not my opinion, it’s an undeniable fact.
For example, I’m dependent on the garbage collection guy to remove my garbage. I’m dependent on my supermarket to sell me food.
This doesn’t make me weak; it makes me human.
By the same token, the minute we enter a romantic relationship, we become dependent on our partner. And that’s a good thing if it makes us stronger as a team.
But in our culture, dependence has become a sign of weakness, or has been thrown in the same category as co-dependence (which is actually a term from the addiction recovery movement and does not apply to romantic relationships).
And this puts us in a catch 22 because we can’t meet our relational needs by ourselves, yet we aren’t supposed to ask our partner to meet them for us.
The uncomfortable truth is that when it comes to relational needs, only our partner can meet them for us.
Try meeting your need for sex by yourself and see how that goes?
Try meeting your need for comfort by yourself and see how that goes?
Try meeting your need for touch by yourself and see how that goes?
See what I mean?
At Love At First Fight, dependence is not a dirty word. It’s a fact of life.
I’ll show you how to be dependent on each other in a way that makes you both stronger for it.
6. TRUST AND INTEGRITY ARE EVERYTHING.
Without trust, nothing works. Without integrity there is no trust.
That’s why I’m fanatical about doing what I say I’m going to do, keeping my promises to you and making things right when I make mistakes.
If I think that I can’t help you, I’ll be honest with you about that up front and do my best to refer you to someone who can.
You’re trusting me with the most important and valuable part of your life – your relationship or marriage.
That’s a big deal, and I take that responsibility seriously.
I’m known to go way above and beyond the normal call of duty to make sure that my students get the results that they want.
You see, I’ve been in similar shoes to yours. I know how much relationship struggles can hurt.
I know the loneliness, or sadness, or fear, or anger you might be feeling if you’re locking horns with the person you love most.
If I can help you get past that pain, then I’m doing my bit to make this place a little better for everyone.
Oh, and before you think I’m some selfless monk – I’m not. My payoff is waking up with a purpose and going to bed feeling grateful.
7. INFORMATION WITHOUT “HOW TO” IS WORTHLESS.
Have you ever read that blog post that advised you to “love yourself” more?
I bet they didn’t tell you how to love yourself more.
So, nothing changes for you because nobody has given you the step-by-step procedure for how to apply what you learned.
When we work together, I promise to take you by the hand and guide you through the “how to” part of mastering the solutions, skills and tools you need to build the relationship you want.
Then, I’ll coach you until you’ve got those skills comfortably under your belt.
8. I SELL THINGS.
I’m really proud to make and sell some of the best relationship and marriage programs in the world.
That’s why (last time I counted in 2018) we have 181 typed pages of unsolicited success stories from people who have turned their struggles into love stories.
Selling my relationship improvement programs is how 90% of what you learn from me stays free.
I’m obsessive about producing the best, most useful relationship training programs.
But I can’t do that unless I keep the lights on. So, I’m going to market my awesome paid programs to you.
9. I’M NOT FOR EVERYONE.
I take my work seriously, but I try not to myself too seriously.
I take a strong stand for empathy and compassion, but also have an irreverent sense of humor.
I’m a straight shooter, and that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes that trait offends people. If you’re easily offended, it might be useful to remember this:
One day, when you’re on your deathbed thinking back on your life, you probably won’t regret that you weren’t more offended. If you’re like most people, you’ll regret that you didn’t laugh more.
DIVE DEEPER INTO OUR WORLD…
"THE BEST STRATEGY AND TECHNIQUES ON THE PLANET TO HELP COUPLES IN TROUBLE."
“Bruce you’ve incorporated the best strategy and techniques on the planet to help couples in trouble.
With your absolute positivity about love and relationships, your charisma and authenticity, you help motivate and guide others to a happy loving relationship.
You give the gift of lovely companionship! God Bless you and your work.”
- DAWN CORMIER-HAZEN
"FROM VERY ROCKY, TO A DEEP LOVE...”
“Bruce, our marriage has gone from very rocky, with us both being hurt and resentful, to a deep love that I didn’t think was possible.
You helped us create a safe space to open up and be close again. And it has had a lasting impact in every area of my life.
I am now a better, wife, mother, and overall person. I have grown so much as a person through our brief time working together. Jay and I have both grown in love and appreciation.
You have accomplished miracles where marriage counseling, personal therapy, a seminar, and countless books fell short.
This is the best investment we have ever made as a couple in our 10 years together.“
- MANDI ELLEFSON
"WELL WORTH THE MONEY"
“We all know how we can be scammed on the internet by quick fixes but Bruce Muzik’s “Love at first fight” online relationship course is an engaging, deeply helpful and worth the time and effort.
It will help or bring your relationship and even yourselves to a new way of thinking.
Bruce comes across as a deeply vulnerable, engaging, funny and charismatic man who is not afraid to share his own flaws and opinions.
He and the course will help you through difficult and many aha moments as you and your partner get to know who you really are and how to communicate in a deeply emotional way in and outside the bedroom.
Well worth the money and as a bonus, you can get lifetime access to the site.”
- DEON & KATHY DREYER
"OUR MARRIAGE IS TRANSFORMING RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES!"
“Bruce, I’m a communications expert myself (by profession), and you’ve just taught me how to listen!
Our marriage is transforming right before our eyes!
Thank you for sharing this invaluable information, you are a delight to work with, I love how you make it safe to share.
We’re only on Week 3, but I have to tell you, your program has saved our marriage.”
- PAMELA COURNOYER
"THE PROGRAM WAS AND IS FANTASTIC!"
“My husband and I lost our connection after 26 years of marriage and were lacking intimacy both emotionally and sexually.
We also seemed to be unable to communicate with one another without conflict.
I learned how to recognize and take ownership for my part in our issues and discontinue the negative behavior.
I cannot stress enough how amazing and inspiring the program is as well as the coach himself, Bruce.
I am eternally grateful for all that I have learned in the program and Bruce’s enthusiastic support and encouragement which has resulted in a personal and life-changing evolution for me.
The program was and is fantastic!”
- CORINNE BRAWNER
“BRUCE KNOWS MORE ABOUT MAKING RELATIONSHIPS WORK THAN ANYONE."
“Bruce is amazing when it comes to having the knowledge, the skills, the intuition, the empathy and the “how to deliver the information” to willing students who desire to improve their romantic relationship.
I think he must be an early “Indigo Child” because – for his age – he knows more about making relationships work than anyone I’ve ever listened to before in my life….and I’m much older.”
"WE WERE 2 MONTHS FROM DIVORCE..."
“When we came to the program, my husband had estimated we were “2 months from divorce”.
Married for nearly 23 years, so it was worth the investment in relationship coaching. (Which is A LOT cheaper than marriage counseling.)
By week 3 of this program, things were turning around in a big way. Today, at the end of the program we have fallen in love with each other again.
Everything this program promises is possible, including returning to hot sex.”
- BETH A.
"I AM GETTING BETTER AT NOT REACTING..."
“Even though I did the program on my own, I see several positive changes.
I am getting better at not reacting so quickly and at letting things go at the moment instead of trying to talk an issue to death.
We aren’t having the kinds of blowups and long unproductive conversations that were the norm.
I am learning how to approach him in a less confrontational way that doesn’t trigger him.
We are beginning to laugh a lot more like we used to and to kid around with each other again.
Bruce, this is an outstanding program. It has taken a lot of time and effort to research and synthesize this material, and you present it in a clear, understandable format.
I appreciate the encouragement to adopt different mindsets, the exercises that put the material into practice, and the reading lists for additional study.”
- JAN NATALE
"ABSOLUTELY LIFE CHANGING!"
“What Bruce teaches you is absolutely life changing!
He gently swifts you into learning not only about yourself and your partner but what a healthy, loving relationship is all about.
It’s not just about learning the theories – Bruce actually shows us how to apply specific tools in real life tough situations, we have all felt so defeated by.”
- ASKA NAITO
"I AM MARRIED TODAY BECAUSE OF MY PARTICIPATION."
“The information presented here needs to be shared with everyone and anyone that is involved in any type of a relationship!
So superior to any books I have read and tried to apply, and marriage counseling.
I am married today because of my participation – thank you Bruce!”
- LAURA AND TOM DAVIS