“Who is this so-called relationship repair expert, and can he actually help me?”
Hey there, I’m Bruce Muzik.
I wanted to take a minute and introduce myself, and answer the question you’re probably already thinking:
“Who is this so-called relationship repair expert and can he actually help me?”
If you’re anything like me, you also cringe reading someone’s ABOUT ME page written in 3rd person masquerading as some professionally written bio, but clearly written by themselves.
So, instead of boring you with “Bruce has done this and that and is so great… blah blah blah…” I thought I’d write something a little more personal.
I’m a husband, step-dad (to two amazing humans), and romantic at heart. I’ve always been deeply fascinated by human behavior and began studying psychology in my teens… Later in my life, my interest shifted to the romantic bond that occurs between two people in love.
Over the years, I've been given a bunch of silly names by my clients - from "the couples whisperer" to "relationship expert".
My favorite definition of an expert is this:
“An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.”
- Niels Bohr, Danish physicist & Nobel prize winner.
By that definition, there's no debating that I’m a relationship expert!
You see, a long time ago, life led me down a path where I was forced to figure out why my own relationship was breaking down and how to fix things between us.
I won’t bore you with the details, but the woman I was seeing suddenly broke up with me – for the 4th time…
...and despite having helped more than 10,000 people in my personal development seminars around the globe, when it came to love, I still felt like a beginner.
Feeling exhausted, hurt, misunderstood and alone, one day I made a promise to myself.
I promise that I will not stop until I figure out how to build a stable, fulfilling, long-term loving relationship…
…a relationship that brings out the best in both of us.
…a relationship where we can be best friends as well as feel like passionate lovers.
I didn’t want ‘agony column’ advice, so I figured my best bet would be to turn to science for help.
I began studying scientific papers and reading books by the world's leading relationship researchers and couples therapists.
Over the years, I studied:
- attachment theory,
- couple’s therapy,
- evolutionary biology,
- developmental psychology,
- interpersonal neurobiology,
- personality theory…
…and anything else I thought might help me understand the dynamics of long-term committed partnership.
Then, I tracked down the best couple’s therapists and spent a lot of money flying all over the globe to learn skills from them in person.
I even got certified as a relationship coach (more than once) - never intending to make it a career.
But life has a funny way of giving you what you need, even if it's not what you think you want. 🙂
MY LIGHT BULB MOMENT
I had a BIG “Aha!” when I discovered that within 2 years of falling in love, most relationships go though a Power Struggle stage.
During this tense time, both partners start feeling disconnected from each other and a feeling of constant tension creeps into the relationship.
What I was learning about love astounded me, inspired me, made me feel normal and most importantly gave me hope that one day I’d build the kind of loving partnership where we built each other up, rather than tear each other down.
What I didn’t know at the time was that I had already met my future wife, but she was still dating a friend of mine.
In the middle of all this studying, I began testing out what I was learning with my friends.
Word spread that I knew a thing or two about relationships, so couples in my community began offering to buy me lunch in exchange for some relationship advice.
Hey, I like food, so I accepted the invitations.
After several of these lunches ended with the couple crying tears of joy in each other’s arms and telling me that I should consider working with couples professionally, a seed was planted.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Love At First Fight was born and within a few years, couples therapists (including one from Harvard and Stanford Universities) were referring their toughest clients to me and asking me to train them in my methodology.
Over the last decade, I've had the privilege of helping more than 1000 people a year with their relationship struggles.
So, what happened in my own love life?
After my heart had healed from that breakup, I eventually began dating someone. I still thought that ‘the one’ was waiting for me somewhere in my future.
As our Romance stage ended and our Power Struggle stage began, we both used tools I now teach, and they worked!
To my amazement, after 4 years of dating I put a ring on her finger (perhaps the smartest decision I’ve made).
But not before she tested me and all my ideas about relationships in ways I didn’t know were possible.
I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t always easy. But over the years, we got there and we’ve earned our right to our unusually rewarding and (mostly) happy relationship.
I have tears of gratitude in my eyes as I write this… and I want you to know that if you’re bickering, arguing, disconnected, angry or hurt…
…you too can turn your marriage or relationship into a love story with a happy ending.
It’s not my style to brag, but the fact is that I’m a highly-trained communicator, professional speaker and much sought after coach…
More than 3 million people have watched my TEDx presentation on YouTube…
…yet none of my communication skills or coaching experience made one ounce of difference when the Power Struggle stage arrived in that relationship I told you about earlier.
Quite frankly, I don’t know how any of us can be expected to get through the Power Struggle without first having learned how to create emotional safety, resolve conflict and communicate in a way that deepens the bond between you.
THE ODDS OF LIVING HAPPILY TOGETHER ARE NOT STACKED IN OUR FAVOR.
Nobody taught us about long term committed relationships at school, so many of us go through life falling in love only to get our hearts broken when our relationship (or marriage) hits rock bottom and doesn’t work out.
I have now come to believe something that I think is very important:
If you don’t know how to:
- build a deep unshakable connection to each other first,
- communicate kindly about how you’re feeling without sparking a fight,
- resolve your arguments, heal old hurt and get on the same page
- repair broken trust,
- make your partner feel safe enough to open up,
- inspire sexual passion, and
- appreciate how you’re different…
…then you’re probably going to suffer when your relationship reaches the Power Struggle stage. You may wonder if you’ve chosen the right partner. After all, isn’t ‘true love’ supposed to be easy?
However, there is hope. When you learn how to connect deeply, communicate kindly, heal your old hurt and resolve those recurring fights, you can graduate from the Power Struggle stage into a more mature stage of love.
WHY SHOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT I CAN HELP YOU?
As you have probably noticed, there are plenty of ‘gurus’ running around trying to convince you that they have all the answers.
So, the question you may be asking yourself is “Why should I believe that you can help me, Bruce?”
And my answer to you is that you SHOULDN’T just blindly believe me. You’re smarter than that.
Unlike other relationship experts, I recommend that you approach my relationship advice with a healthy skepticism, and from a results-only perspective.
I want you to use what you learn with me and surprise yourself with how quickly you feel the warmth and excitement between you returning – how easily you resolve arguments and how simple being happy together is when you understand what’s really going on in each other’s hearts.
Otherwise, I’ll give you a full refund. I’m serious.
Like you, I’m not interested in wasting my time on things that don’t work. I like solutions that get results – fast. Only after you’ve seen that my solutions work, do I want you to believe me.
~ Bruce “the couple’s whisperer” Muzik
Founder of Love At First Fight
P.S. Just so you know, I’m human too and so I have my flaws. But still, I know my programs for couples are the best in the world, and I stand behind them 100%. I pride myself on creating programs that are so useful, that you’d recommend them to your friends without thinking twice.
P.P.S. In case you’re interested, I don’t spend all my time studying psychology and working with couples. I’m also a passionate kite-surfer, guitar player and dirt-bike adventurer. I’m a step-dad to two amazing teenagers. You can watch my TEDx talk about my journey here.
Bruce, you’ve accomplished miracles where marriage counseling, personal therapy, a seminar, and countless books fell short.
- MANDI ELLEFSON
Bruce comes across as a deeply vulnerable, engaging, funny and charismatic man who is not afraid to share his own flaws and opinions.
He will help you through difficult and many a-ha moments as you and your partner get to know who you really are and how to communicate in a deeply emotional way in and outside the bedroom
- DEON & KATHY DREYER
Bruce is an amazing mentor and coach.
His passion for what he does is evident from the minute you meet him.
Thank you, Bruce, for the amazing, inspiring person that you are.
- STEVEN BOURIS
I cannot stress enough how amazing and inspiring the program is as well as the coach himself, Bruce Muzik.
I will be eternally grateful for all that I have learned in the program and Bruce’s enthusiastic support and encouragement which has resulted in a personal and life-changing evolution for me.
- CORINNE BRAWNER
Bruce is amazing when it comes to having the knowledge, the skills, the intuition, the empathy and the “how to deliver the information” to willing students who desire to improve their romantic relationship.
I think he must be an early “Indigo Child” because – for his age – he knows more about making relationships work than anyone I’ve ever listened to before in my life….and I’m much older.
In the past we’d both say ‘You’re not listening to me!
Now we find ourselves stopping, reflecting and getting clarity from each other.
Bruce, you’ve influenced us so much that we’ve referred you to family, relatives and friends.
- MICHAEL COURNOYER
I highly recommend Bruce as he has a wealth of knowledge that he shares which can help couples and his methods do work, they saved my marriage.
What Bruce teaches you in this program is absolutely life changing!
It’s the best money I’ve ever spent on any program, as he gently swifts you into learning not only about yourself and your partner but what a healthy, loving relationship is all about.
The energy, passion, and commitment he brought into our lives was incredibly educational, positive and enlightening!
It’s not just about learning the theories – Bruce actually shows us how to apply specific tools in real life tough situations, we have all felt so defeated by.
- ASKA NAITO
We are so grateful we found Bruce!
His creative approach plus his genuine, personal and supportive group coaching style made all the difference for us this summer.”
- SUSAN BARNARD
Bruce was an excellent coach who displayed great knowledge and very strong communication skills, guiding us through some tough work.
Thanks so much!
We look forward to telling those close to us about this course.
- RION AND LISA
Bruce you’ve incorporated the best strategy and techniques on the planet to help couples in trouble.
With your absolute positivity about love and relationships, your charisma and authenticity, you help motivate and guide others to a happy loving relationship.
You give the gift of lovely companionship! God Bless you and your work.”
- DAWN CORMIER-HAZEN
Spot on analysis by our coach. Bruce.
It’s just like we were sitting right in front of him, he read through our b.s. and diagnosed us expertly.
- TIM MCHUGH
Bruce is a great coach, using teaching tools from many experts, and being an unbiased coach – not a therapist or cop or family member who means well.
- SUE MACKIMMIE
OK, so I’m like your biggest fan.
Honestly, I would say pretty much everything worked well.
What I was most impressed with, was how you distilled an immense amount of information, into useful, bite-size chunks.
I was also impressed with your calls – I thought they would get long. However, it worked great, I was never close to bored.
I also like how you are always using your coaching time to teach as well. For me to stay engaged through a 2-hour call is not easy to do, but you did it.
- JASON TRONERUD