“Who is this so-called relationship repair expert,
and can he actually help me?”
Hey there, I’m Bruce Muzik.
I wanted to take a minute and introduce myself, and answer the question you’re probably already thinking: “Who is this so-called relationship repair expert and can he actually help me?”
If you’re anything like me, you also cringe reading someone’s ABOUT ME page written in 3rd person masquerading as some professionally written bio, but clearly written by themselves.
So, instead of boring you with “Bruce has done this and that and is so great… blah blah blah…” I thought I’d write something a little more personal.
I’m a husband, step-dad (to two amazing humans), and romantic at heart. I’ve always been deeply fascinated by psychology and human behavior… and later on in my life, the bond that occurs between two people in love.
“An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.” – Niels Bohr, Danish physicist & Nobel prize winner.
By that definition, there’s no debating that I’m an expert! 🙂
You see, a long time ago, life led me down a path where I was forced to figure out why my own relationship was breaking down and how to fix things between us.
I won’t bore you with the details, but the woman I was seeing suddenly broke up with me – for the 4th time…
…and despite having helped more than 10000 people in my personal development seminars around the globe, when it came to love, I was clueless.
Feeling exhausted from feeling hurt, misunderstood and alone, one day I made a promise to myself.
I promise that I will not stop until I figure out how to build a stable, fulfilling, long-term loving relationship…
…a relationship that brings out the best in both of us.
…a relationship where we can be best friends as well as feel like passionate lovers.
I didn’t want ‘agony column’ advice, so I figured my best bet would be to turn to science for help.
I began studying scientific papers by couples researchers. I read all of their books.
Over the years, I studied:
- attachment theory,
- couple’s therapy,
- evolutionary biology,
- developmental psychology,
- interpersonal neuro-biology,
- personality theory…
…and anything else I thought might help me understand the dynamics of long-term committed partnership.
Then, I tracked down the best couple’s therapists in the world and spent a lot of money flying all over the globe to learn skills from them in person.
I even got certified as a relationship coach – more than once!
What I was learning about love astounded me, inspired me, made me feel normal and most importantly gave me hope that one day I’d build the kind of loving partnership where we built each other up, rather than tear each other down.
What I didn’t know at the time was that I had already met my future wife, but she was still dating a friend of mine.
In the middle of all this studying, I began testing out what I was learning with my friends.
Word spread that I knew a thing or two about relationships, so couples in my community began offering to buy me lunch in exchange for some marriage advice.
Hey, I like food, so I said “Of course”
After several of these lunches ended with the couple crying tears of joy in each other’s arms and telling me that I should consider working with couples professionally, a seed was planted.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Love At First Fight was born and within a few years, couples therapists (including one from Harvard University) were referring their toughest clients to me and asking me to train them in my methodology.
Now, I help more than 500 people every year to fix their marriage and relationship problems.
So, what happened in my own love life?
After my heart had healed from that breakup, I eventually began dating someone. I still thought that ‘the one’ was waiting for me somewhere in my future.
As our Romance stage ended and our Power Struggle stage began, we both used tools I now teach, and they worked!
To my amazement, after 4 years of dating I put a ring on her finger (perhaps the smartest choice I’ve ever made).
But not before she tested me and all my ideas about relationships in ways I didn’t know were possible.
I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t always easy. But over the years, we got there and we’ve earned our right to our unusually rewarding and (mostly) happy relationship.
I have tears of gratitude in my eyes as I write this… and I want you to know that if you’re bickering, arguing, disconnected, angry or hurt…
…you too can turn your marriage or relationship into a love story with a happy ending.
It’s not my style to brag, but the fact is that I’m a highly-trained communicator, professional speaker and much sought after coach…
More than 3 million people have watched my TEDx presentation on YouTube…
…yet none of my communication skills or coaching experience made one ounce of difference when the Power Struggle stage arrived in that relationship I told you about earlier.
Quite frankly, I don’t know how any of us can be expected to get through the Power Struggle without first having learned how to create emotional safety, resolve conflict and communicate in a way that deepens the bond between you.
The odds of living happily together are not stacked in our favor.
Nobody taught us about long term committed relationships at school, so many of us go through life falling in love only to get our hearts broken when our relationship (or marriage) hits rock bottom and doesn’t work out.
I have now come to believe something that I think is very important:
If you don’t know how to:
- build a deep unshakable connection to each other first,
- communicate kindly about how you’re feeling without sparking a fight,
- resolve your arguments, heal old hurt and get on the same page
- repair broken trust,
- make your partner feel safe enough to open up,
- inspire sexual passion, and
- appreciate how you’re different…
…then you’re probably going to suffer when your relationship reaches the Power Struggle stage. You may wonder if you’ve chosen the right partner. After all, isn’t ‘true love’ supposed to be easy?
However, there is hope. When you learn how to connect deeply, communicate kindly, heal your old hurt and resolve those recurring fights, you can graduate from the Power Struggle stage into a more mature stage of love.
Why should you believe that I can help you?
As you have probably noticed, there are plenty of ‘gurus’ running around trying to convince you that they have all the answers.
So, the question you may be asking yourself is “Why should I believe that you can help me, Bruce?”
And my answer to you is that you SHOULDN’T just blindly believe me. You’re smarter than that.
Unlike other relationship experts, I recommend that you approach my relationship advice with a healthy skepticism, and from a results-only perspective.
I want you to use what you learn with me and surprise yourself with how quickly you feel the warmth and excitement between you returning – how easily you resolve arguments and how simple being happy together is when you understand what’s really going on in each other’s hearts.
Otherwise, I’ll give you a full refund. I’m serious.
Like you, I’m not interested in wasting my time on things that don’t work. I like solutions that get results – fast. Only after you’ve seen that my solutions work, do I want you to believe me.
~ Bruce “the couple’s whisperer” Muzik (Founder of Love At First Fight)
P.S. Just so you know, I’m human too and so I have my flaws. But still, I know my programs for couples are the best in the world, and I stand behind them 100%. I pride myself on creating programs that are so useful, that you’d recommend them to your friends without thinking twice.
P.P.S. In case you’re interested, I don’t spend all my time studying psychology and working with couples. I’m also a passionate kite-surfer, guitar player and dirt-bike adventurer. I’m a step-dad to two amazing teenagers. You can watch my TEDx talk about my journey here.