Your Questions Answered
The course starts on April 13, 2019 with our Welcome Call.
When you register, you’ll receive immediate access to the Quickstart Videos. If you’ve registered a week or more before we begin the program, these videos will get you started repairing things between you right away.
The coaching program is a 7-week home-study relationship repair program backed by scientific research.
It is an online alternative to couples counseling delivered via weekly online training videos and downloadable workbooks.
You also get 7 group coaching calls with me (Bruce) so you are guaranteed to get help with your unique situation.
Here’s how it works:
STEP #1: WATCH THE WEEKLY VIDEO TRAINING
Each Saturday you’ll receive access to new relationship repair training videos that will teach you communication skills, proven strategies and tools to get you both on the same page.
STEP #2: DO THE WEEKLY EXERCISES
Your implementation workbook will guide you step-by-step through a series of powerful exercises and conversations that will get you on the same page.
STEP #3: TALK WITH ME & GET HELP
Finally, once a week we’ll connect on our live group mentoring call together. You ask me questions and I provide solutions tailored to your specific relationship situation.
The curriculum I’ll lead you though is designed from the most up-to-date research by the world’s smartest relationship scientists in the fields of:
- Attachment theory,
- Personality theory,
- Developmental psychology, and
- The couples therapy with the highest success rate.
I’ve distilled all this research into tools and strategies that are easy to apply with your partner.
You’ll learn proven communication tools and conflict resolution strategies to get you connected and on the same page again.
Here’s a short version of what we’ll learn each week:
- WEEK 1: Re-connect emotionally with each other
- WEEK 2: Master the core communication skills for couples
- WEEK 3: Feel safe together
- WEEK 4: Resolve recurring conflict and heal old hurt
- WEEK 5: Appreciate your differences
- WEEK 6: Restore trust and feel close again
- WEEK 7: Sex, passion and long-term partnership
The curriculum is available in a lot more detail further up this page.
Here are some of the many symptoms that the coaching program helps with:
- There’s a constant tension between you both…
- You walk on eggshells, tip-toeing around sensitive topics…
- Little arguments escalate into full blown fights…
- You can’t talk about how you’re feeling without communication breaking down or sparking an argument…
- Issues don’t get resolved, and you sweep your problems under the carpet…
- You don’t fight at all (this is the #1 predictor of divorce)…
- Your partner withdraws, goes “numb” or shuts down emotionally…
- Your partner angrily pursues you, leaving you feeling criticized…
- You feel judged, not accepted and like your partner is trying to change you…
- You’re wrestling with trust issues or forgiveness after a betrayal…
- Your sex life has lost its spark (or non-existent)…
- One of you has said some variation of “I love you, but I’m not in love with you…”
- You can’t count on your partner to have your back and provide emotional support…
- One of you is not fully committed, has left or threatened to leave…
Here’s what you can expect to happen during or after the course:
- You’ll be laughing playfully together, feeling safely and securely connected to one another.
- You’ll have resolved your differences without fighting, instead building a deep bond between you.
- You’ll be using your new communication tools to talk feely about your feelings, needs and wants without sparking a disconnection.
- Your withdrawn and shut down partner will come out of his/her shell and open up emotionally.
- Your critical, angry partner will soften, listen and offer you the space you need.
- Your old hurts will have healed and trust rebuilt between you.
- Sexual desire naturally returns as the emotional bond between you strengthens.
- As you get on the same page again, you both begin feeling like team mates instead of room mates.
Yes. You can participate in your own time, from anywhere in the world, and turn things around even if you’re the only one trying.
Your partner does not need to participate in order for you to positively impact your relationship.
How can that work? Let’s try a thought experiment together:
Imagine you’re having a romantic dinner with your spouse… What would you have to do or say to make the dinner go downhill fast?
Most people can think of at least one thing immediately. In my marriage, all my wife would have to do is make a comment that my driving is bad. That would be enough to change the tone of our relationship in that moment.
See how easily one person can affect a relationship?
In the same way, you can fix your relationship problems even if your partner won’t participate in the program with you or is obstinate. That’s because a relationship is like a see-saw. As you shift so your partner has to shift in response.
As you begin changing the way you respond in your relationship, so the dynamic between you will change and your partner will begin showing up differently.
Very often an obstinate partner will choose to join you in the program as a result of seeing first hand how you’re responding in a more loving, more secure, and emotionally safe way.
Obviously, I’d rather that your partner did participate with you, so I’ve designed a free training program that will teach you how to get your partner on board participating with you. You’ll get access to it as soon as you register for the Coaching Program.
However, even if they don’t participate, take comfort that your relationship troubles are not your fault or your partner’s fault. They are caused by the relationship dynamic you unconsciously co-create together. You can singlehandedly turn your relationship around, whether or not your partner participates.
I regularly witness separated (or broken up) couples get back together during the Love At First Fight coaching program.
Obviously, you and your partner are human beings, not robots, so there are no guarantees. In fact, anyone who guarantees that you will reunite with your ex should not be trusted.
However, if you take responsibility for applying what you learn in the program you will massively increase your chances of your ex wanting to come back into your life. Massively.
Don’t believe me. Go try out my free information on this site and then decide for yourself.
The Love At First Fight methodology is based on decades of scientific research by the world’s smartest relationship scientists in the fields of:
- attachment theory,
- Emotionally Focused Couples therapy (the couples therapy with the highest success rate in the world),
- developmental psychology,
- and personality theory…
Every technique, skill or strategy you’ll learn has been tested by researchers and by me with the hundreds upon hundreds of couples who have successfully fixed their troubled relationships during the Love At First Fight coaching program.
Unlike a $50 e-book that you’ll probably never read, this program delivers what you need to fix your relationship – education, insight, accountability, mentoring and real support.
Because the program is delivered live and over 7 weeks, it requires you to actually show up consistently to learn, so you’re far more likely to actually fix your relationship struggles.
It works so well because it combines cutting-edge education, with insightful exercises and personal phone mentoring to give you solutions tailored to your specific situation.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve helped thousands of people across the globe from every walk of life. If you’re willing, I can help you and your partner too.
The Mentoring Calls are group calls, so you won’t be having private calls with me.
However, you (along with the other participants in the program) can talk directly with me on the Mentoring Calls.
You can ask me questions or get help and solutions to your unique relationship problem. I may work with you alone, or ask your partner to join the conversation too. Participation is completely voluntary.
As I’m working with the other couples, you’ll learn even more. This is because much of the coaching I will give other couples will apply directly to your situation too.
We only use our first names on the Mentoring Calls. The calls are audio, not video. This way, you remain anonymous in the group. Anonymity helps create a safe environment where we can all open up and share vulnerably and do deep work.
Whatever reservations you may have about sharing in a group, trust me on this: the group dynamic is the very reason the coaching program works so well.
The Wall Of Love would not be filled with happy students sharing their stories of love and transformation if the group call format didn’t work.
Again, you are not obliged to speak on any of the calls.
The coaching program is designed to fix your relationship problems in 7 weeks or less.
However, many participants report having turned their situation around by week 2 of the program thanks to the communication skills they have learned.
There is no one-size-fits-all time-frame for repairing a relationship. It’s dependent mostly on how willing you are to put into practice what you learn in the program.
No. I designed the course to be delivered week by week. This way, you get enough time to learn the tools and practice using them in your relationship. The program is a tested system and it’s important to follow the protocol.
Smart people often have a particular weakness of wanting to jump ahead, saying things like, “Yeah yeah, I get it. I want to skip ahead now.” I don’t allow this. The goal is not to rush through the course — it’s to repair your relationship problems and be happy together.
Everything in the course is carefully calibrated to maximize your odds of success.
Trust the system. It works.
Yes, you have lifetime access to everything in the program.
There’s no catch.
The reason I can afford to help you for only $497 is that we’re working in a group. Over the many years that I’ve run this program, I’ve found that this group program often get’s better results than working one-on-one.
I know it seems hard to believe that I’m promising to help you repair your relationship problems for the price of one session with a half-decent couples therapist.
Especially considering they’ll charge you $400/session and advise 12 sessions, which works out to $4800. Not to mention that many couples therapists are not actually trained to work with couples and do more damage than good.
If you suspect that I have a thing against couples therapists and counselors, it’s because I do.
I’ve lost count of the number of my students who have told me that they have seen multiple couples therapists and each just made things worse.
I am on a mission to make effective relationship help available and affordable for everyone.
Yes, a full 100% money back guarantee. I stand behind my programs 100%.
If you participate fully and complete the program as designed*and you’re not 100% satisfied with it, just send me an email within a week after our final Mentoring Call and I’ll refund all your money. I’ll even eat the credit-card processing fees and we’ll part as friends. I built this and I take responsibility for it.
All I ask is that you actually watch all the videos, complete all the exercises and get help from me on the live Mentoring Calls so I can do everything in my power to help you get the results you want in your marriage or relationship.
If you’re thinking of purchasing the program just to test-drive it, I’d rather you didn’t join at all. You’re not going to get the extraordinary results you want by dipping your toe in the water, right? You have to apply yourself. In order to be eligible for our 100% Money Back Guarantee, you must have completed the program.
I don’t know when I’ll re-open the Love At First Fight coaching program.
Once this upcoming coaching program begins, I devote all of my attention to my students. When I come up for air, I’ll schedule the next one.
In my experience, the couples who do best, put aside 3 – 4 hours over the weekend to watch the videos and complete the assignments. This way, they have time to practice the tools before the Mentoring Calls later the following week.
Your time will be divided roughly as follows:
- 1 hour to watch the Relationship Repair training videos each week
- 2 hours to complete the Implementation Workbook assignments each week
- 1.5 hours for the Relationship Mentoring calls each week
Yes, as long as you let us know within a week of your program starting, you can transfer to any coaching program that begins within 6 months of the program that you purchased.
The Relationship Mentoring calls are scheduled at 12:00 pm Pacific Standard Time on Thursdays. This call time was chosen to accommodate people from as many different time zones as possible during daylight hours.
Because your relationship or marriage is possibly the most foundational aspect of your life… and because a troubled relationship can negatively impact every area of your life, I highly recommend re-scheduling your work and social life to accommodate the 90-minute Relationship Mentoring calls for the next 7 weeks. It will be worth it.
If you need to speak to your employer to move your lunch break or work hours around for 7 weeks, do it. Most employers are understanding about relationship issues (because a happier you is a more productive you) and will be flexible if you make a request of them.
Worst case scenario: You can’t attend all the live Mentoring Calls and listen to the recordings while sending me your questions to answer on the Mentoring Calls. I regularly witness couples transform their marriages without even attending a single call in person.
That’s OK. Each call is recorded and posted in the private member’s area within a few hours.
If you know you’ll miss a call ahead of time, just email me your question and I’ll answer it (or provide a solution) for you on the call. You can then listen to my answer even if you don’t attend the live call. We’ve had many couples through our virtual ‘doors’ that fix their relationship struggles never having attended a single live call, but emailing in their questions instead.
You can also download recordings of each call to your mobile device so you can listen on the move or offline.
The Implementation Workbooks are digital downloads so you can access them instantly from anywhere in the world and begin fixing your relationship right away. Most participants print theirs out.
If marriage therapy didn’t work for you, you’re not alone. In fact, traditional marriage therapy has the highest failure rate of any therapy in existence – mostly due to the fact that you don’t need to be trained to work with couples to be a marriage therapist. All you need is a license to practice individual therapy.
Working with couples requires a completely different set of skills than working with an individual. And that is one of the big reasons marriage therapy so often fails miserably.
The second reason why approximately 3 in 4 couples who attend marriage therapy report no improvement is because traditional marriage therapy focuses on teaching communication skills.
Couples research clearly shows that poor communication is not the reason your marriage is in trouble.
Poor communication is only a symptom of a greater cause – a lack of emotional safety and emotional connection.
My entire philosophy to relationship repair could be summarized as “Connect first, communicate later”.
In the Love At First Fight coaching program, the first thing you’ll learn on our Welcome Call is how to create emotionally connected moments with your spouse so that you both begin feeling emotionally safe with each other.
Only then will I teach you communication skills.
The reason for our incredibly high success rate with couples in conflict is because our primary focus is on getting the two of you feeling connected and safe.
Once you feel connected and safe, communication tends to take care of itself. Of course, in the Love At First Fight coaching program, you’ll get step-by-step processes for resolving the difficult conversations with your partner.
However, many couples report that once they are connected and feeling safe, they don’t need communication skills to resolve their problems.
Sound too simple to be true?
I completely understand if you’re skeptical.
Do you both know how to speak English? Of course you do.
Did you need communication skills to talk to each other when you first fell in love? Of course not. You just talked and it was wonderful.
Why? Because you were emotionally connected and feeling safe with each other.
Here is the final reason I’ll mention for why the Love At First Fight coaching program is likely to work for you even if marriage therapy didn’t:
Traditional marriage therapy often doesn’t do a good job of healing old hurt and resentment. You might be told to forgive and forget. You might be given token apologies like “I’m sorry, OK! Can we please move on now??? When are you going to get over this?”
None of these are going to inspire forgiveness in you or your partner and you’ll be stuck with your resentment unable to let go of the betrayal of trust…
And if there is one thing that will sabotage your felt sense of emotional safety, it is resentment.
In the coaching program, you’ll learn a scientifically proven step-by-step method for healing old hurt and dissolving resentment. It’s easier than you might think and won’t take months and months of talking about what happened over and over again.
I hope this helps you understand how my approach is different from marriage therapy. If marriage therapy didn’t work for you (or just made things worse), the Love At First Fight coaching program is for you.
If that still doesn’t convince you, remember that the Love At First Fight coaching program comes with a 100% money back guarantee. Try getting your money back from your marriage therapist.
“I’ve spent the cost of my house on therapy over the last few decades and I got further with this short course…” – Sue McKimmie
“This program has made us more competent as a couple in 7 weeks, than one year of couples therapy.” – Linea Ivalo
“Your course is more effective than couples counseling (and less expensive).” – Pam Sorter